set the bar high

Zero dollar day.

The threat level for this county was just downgraded to “low,” so I’m back in the classroom tomorrow. Which is fine. I guess.

The department meeting about masking was frustrating. So much hostility from an unexpected source. A female professor who doesn’t want to require masks because she’s unable to enforce the mask mandate in her classes. I believe her when she says male students will more openly defy her because of her gender, but enforcing the rules is still her job. You can’t just scrap a rule because you don’t want to have to enforce it. Not if it’s there for a good reason.

The way the school has handled Covid could certainly be a lot worse, but it still has not endeared me to the institution. On the other hand, they want me to teach a topics course next year, and I pitched an introductory course on mathematical ecology and epidemiology, and the chair is into it. That’s going to make it a bit harder to walk away if the pay sucks. But maybe not too much harder.

Sleep was weird last night. The melancholy sucked me down after my walk, and I never really pulled it back together. Definitely feeling like I’ll sleep tonight. I’m about ready to do that now. Still have guitar and exercise to do.

I’m bad about setting a new work schedule for myself, then assuming I’ll immediately stick to it without deviation. I can be hard on myself for not sticking to my 12 hour days, when really I’m asking a lot of myself and need to be OK with failing to adhere on occasion. It’s a solid aspiration, and it’s good to set the bar high, but I have to remember to treat myself with compassion too.

I need a damn girlfriend, and to be in therapy. When is all that supposed to happen? Gotta finish this writing project (transcribing old journals) and then build out the van.