it’s going to cost me money generally

Spent like 80 bucks today. First, my mp3 player died, and I spent 30 on a new one, then 10 more on some spare earbuds. Then I realized I don’t own a math book I want (Rick Durrett’s basic probability book), and I bought a kindle edition of it for like 40 bucks. Feel kinda bad about that, but it’s all good stuff. Pushing some stuff onto credit right now, so I can save some cash, in case I end up being unemployed for a bit this Fall.

Got snapped at a bit my karate teacher today, and got my feelings hurt a bit. Wasn’t too hard to move past, but it was weird that such a thing could still affect me at all.

Worked on my manuscript for my current mathematical work-in-progress today. Going to commit to working on it every day for an hour, and going to push some of the van work off to this summer. It’s going to cost me money if I’m still in this apartment this summer, but wanting to focus on independent research is going to cost me money generally. So let’s get to it.

Also spent like 1.5 hours applying for jobs today. Probably won’t find out if I have the lecturer gig here at my SUNY campus till March or even April. So still applying all over the place for now.

Got good work done today, despite broken sleep last night. It’s been emotional work all day, but I made it happen. Can’t believe it’s fucking Monday today. I already feel like it should be the weekend. Things are hard, and it can be difficult to believe that they’ll get better. Nothing for it but to carry on.

“They say the darkest hour…comes right before the dawn.
Well you wouldn’t know it by me…every day’s been darker since you’ve been gone.”