Teaching online during the Covid crisis turned out to be a lot of work. I fell off the wagon there at the end, first dropping of on my self-care work, then staying high pretty continuously for a few weeks. Today is my first day back, working.
It’s time to get on the van project in a serious way. I got my tower pc back up and running today, so I can send it to a friend in CA. That and cleaning and food work took most of the day.
My plan now, for the remainder of the Summer, is to work on the van 10 hrs/day 6 days/week. Hopefully that’s enough to make it habitable in time.
Spent 16 dollars on canned air and thermal paste for the pc. Spent 37 dollars on an ebook about turning Sprinter vans into diy rv’s. The person who wrote it once worked as a technical writer, and I’m hoping it will be a good resource. If it turns out to be, I’ll link it here.
I think I should spend some time documenting the process of building the van. It’s tempting to just spend all my time working directly on it, but documenting it was part of the original plan. Many such guides exist already, but that’s not an argument against creating another, as I’ve gone through more than one in my own preparations. I don’t know what it will amount to, but if nothing else it will provide a record for myself. I do like looking over old works sometimes, to remind myself what I’ve done.
My next job, in MN, is only for 1 year. I don’t know what I’ll do after that. I’m not content teaching full time. It also feels like my chest is caving in when I think about just abandoning real mathematics to try to make money. A professorship is still the obvious path, but I don’t much like it. I first decided to abandon that path when I learned that the average professor spends about 2 hours a day on their research, and the rest on teaching, advising, and administrative duties. I decided I could do better than that. And I still believe I could, though it may take years of work to get there, years of work (and employment) where I’d have trouble finding any time for math or writing. I’m at a crossroads, and I don’t know which way to go.
Meditated today for the first time in a while, and the voices turned mean. When I decided that it was good to see them for what they were, they immediately changed to comforting female presences. All the instincts of a sheep-herding dog, and the only sin is to break faith. Well, just fucking watch me. It is in this way that you learn what they’re worth.
